Tuesday, September 14, 2010
For the Well Being of the People
Everyone knows that every now and then there are accidents in the pool. Maybe someone regurgitated what they had for lunch or went number two in the pool. What do the lifeguards and faculty do to keep the waters sanitary for all? They evacuate the pool. They process the surprise that someone left in the pool. They pour chlorine into the pool to kill the bacteria. Is that enough? Obviously, it is not! It has been noted the past few summers there have been individuals getting severely sick after swimming in the local community swimming pools. These individuals were not merely sick in the sense of coughing a little bit here and there and a stomachache; but, they were sick in the sense of throwing up blood. This gives us reason to believe that we need to take serious measures to protecting ourselves from bacteria and sickness. The community pools should regulate the pool water more frequently. By regulating the water, they should maintain specific chlorine levels so that in case there is an accident, it will not be detrimental to anyone’s health and recycle the pool water. A few adjustments are not too much to ask for when we bear in mind the health and well being of the people.
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This is an excellent argument, I think. A few spelling errors and such, but you know what you're talking about, and the reader can tell. On the 3rd line, I think you mean "sanitary" instead of "sanity"
ReplyDeleteGood mixture of logic and appeal to senses. I mean logically I don't know how anyone could disagree - people get sick from these things and that is bad. But even more effective is the reference to gross stuff that no one would want to argue against - I mean it's obviously disgusting.
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ReplyDeleteHere, here! Enough with pee in our swimming water! I call for a cleaning revolution!!!
ReplyDeleteI think they should put a chemical in the water so if someone does pee in the water it changes color and they get kicked out of the pool. But then again, they can't help it if little kids do it...You made a great point and a healthy argument. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWhoa I had no idea about this! Thanks for the warning and an extra thanks for trying to make a change! One thing though, I think There should be changed to These in the sentence: "There individuals were not merely sick."
ReplyDeleteI deffinately wouldn't want to come out of the water with my mouth open wide gasping for breath, and then notice something floating beside me. Very visual in your description.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that, yes, everyone's going to agree with your argument.... but what swimming pool is actually going to think they're the one that needs to change? "More often" can be read as, well, we're already up to par... what specifically does the standard need to be? And where specifically does it need to be improved? Is it really every community pool?
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for the constructive and amusing comments! :)
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