Dear Sabrina,
How is school in 8th grade going? I remember 8th grade like it was yesterday. It was definitely my favorite grade ever! That was the year my football team won the championship. But you go to a different school than I did, so I don't want to brag too much. Do you like your teachers and stuff?
Holy smokes, college is a lot tougher than I imagined. I like it, but it's tough. I have 7 classes with hours upon hours of homework. Plus the best place ever at 5 buck pizza on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I hardly have time to even date! (Obviously I would have to find a girl to date me first, but that's beside the point.) Anyways, with all I have going on, I decided to write my dear sister an email (since you don't even answer your phone anyway when I call and I don't know how to text worth beans) and let her know about all of my struggles because I know she will always listen.
You want to know the hardest part for me? Laundry. I always run out of clean laundry right at the wrong moment. When I have a ton of homework, a test coming up, work that night, or something big come up. That leaves me in a big bind. Hey, I know! What if my awesome sister did my laundry for me? That way I wouldn't really have to worry so much, and I could focus my time on the other important things. Besides, I'm not very good at laundry anyways, as you already know; you always make fun of me for it. I feel like a dooface when I do my laundry; you, like a professional.
Remember that time that you saw my laundry still sitting in my laundry basket like 4 days later? I was pretty embarrassed that day. But you were right, I actually got made fun of at school for having wrinkly clothes. I have to admit as well that I haven't got any better. I still procrastinate everything about laundry even though it's so important. You have no idea how much I would appreciate you for helping me out with it.
Write me back, let me know what you think. That would be awesome if you could help me out with that!
Love you!
Braden
Braden, great use of conversational voice. It sounds very authentic. However, I would double check some of the sentence mechanics to improve their fluency. Your argument is similar to what I would say if I were to try and cajole my younger siblings into doing things for me!
ReplyDeleteYou do a really good job of explaining the tough situation you're in, it's a lot easier to persuade someone when they feel bad for you. I also like the conversational voice, it almost doens't even sound like a letter, which I think is good.
ReplyDeleteWonderful! I thought it was really good that you were very personal in the beginning allowing your sister to be emotionally drawn into the letter. It also put you in a good light before you popped the question...the laundry question that is. If I was your sister I would totally be doing your laundry.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time doing my own laundry. I never realized how much laundry my mom actually did!
ReplyDelete