One Man and One Woman

Children fantasize. They dream of their future, what job they will hold, where they will live, and, the most important decision of all, who they will marry. The scene of a happy family is a yearning for every young dreamer; the dream of having a spouse to build memories with resides. Since Adam and Eve stepped foot on earth, marriage has taken place. In Doctrine and Covenants, one would find marriage a commandment of God. Marriage is the legal union of one man and one woman. One. One cow does not refer to eight cows. One hour does not mean a whole day. One woman in a marriage does not mean four. In the film “Raise the Red Lantern,” (a film taking place in the 1920’s,) the household of the master lacks trust, integrity, happiness and basic human kindness because of the “marriage” between one man and four wives.
Part of the culture of China included a master of a household having multiple mistresses to aid in his crave for physical lust and to bear him sons. The happiness of the women was never considered. In “Raise the Red Lantern,” Songlian, mistress number four, realizes that she will never have happiness, but will have to compete for status in the household. As tradition has it, wherever the Master sleeps for the night, red lanterns are lit at that house. The more the Master sleeps with one mistress, the more powerful she becomes and she obtains more control over the household. The tradition not only inhibits the women from being cordial, it creates hate between them. Whenever the master sleeps at the fourth mistress’s house, the other three become jealous and plot to hurt her, physically and emotionally.
The kind of situation involving jealousy and hate takes constantly in society today. Typical scenarios include a tall, dark, and handsome 23 year old with a muscular build. If two different women show interest in him, they will not want to share him. Both realize that they would rather lose him to the other girl than share him, but that does not mean a competition for his attention will not take place. Eventually, “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome” will choose girl one or girl two. The rejected girl, for clarification purposes will be called Girl Two, may be angry, but thank goodness, she does not have to live with the two new lovebirds (and eventually married couple), or the anger would build up and rash acts could be committed. Eventually, she will show interest in someone new, and the process will begin again. The mistresses in China could not leave the house and find someone new after being rejected; one tried and suffered serious consequences.
After not receiving the affection she wants from her husband, the third mistress, He Caifei, finds that she is becoming emotionally attached with the doctor of the household. After Songlian, in an intoxicated state, tells the second mistress that He Caifei and the Doctor snuck out together during the night, the second mistress seizes the chance to rid herself of some competition for the Master’s attention. The discovery is made, and He Caifei hanged for disloyalty to the Master and his household.
Going back to the example of “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome,” he would applaud Girl Two when she finds someone better suited for her. He would think it rather odd, and a little bit creepy if she continued to hang around him and his new wife. Perfect example of why a society where marriage between one man and one woman reigns supreme in compared to that of one man and four women.
I know a lot of Chinese women in the past married into units with one master and multiple wives for money’s sake. I would turn down all the money in the world if, in return, I received unhappiness and a dysfunctional family. The film really opened my eyes to the real hatred that existed in households with multiple mistresses. It made me realize how grateful I am to live in a country where marriage is between one man and one woman; to live in a country where I still can be the little kid fantasizing of my future husband, and the happiness we will have and the memories we will make.