"When the Bishop Called Me..."

Sacrament Meeting: Act 2, Scene 1

The sacrament is over, the conductor gets up and introduces the meeting's speakers. The first speaker slides up to the pulpit.

Speaker [voice shaking]: When the Bishop called me three weeks ago and asked me to speak in sacrament meeting... (insert corny joke about not wanting to speak but agreeing to anyway.)

Audience: [Muffled Forced Laughter.]

Speaker: [Obviously shaken by the joke's lack of impact, nevertheless continues on with his message] "The topic I've been asked to speak on is... Webster's dictionary defines it as..."

Audience: [Repositions themselves in their seats in preparation for what looks to be a very long meeting.]

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Why? If I had my way no one would ever begin a sacrament meeting talk like this ever again. I will try to shed some light on why this phenomenon occurs so frequently, do my best to convince you to never employ such strategies yourself, and then I will humbly suggest a simpler and more effective alternative.

I wonder who was the first person to begin their talk like this. Maybe it was first used way back in Nauvoo by Brigham Young. "When The Prophet Joseph called me and asked me to speak I told him I'd rather walk 1,000 miles across rough terrain heh heh, but I agreed to anyway." Somehow, I doubt it. How come this tactic is only used by self-conscious speakers in sacrament meeting? Perhaps someone once gave them the advice to begin with a joke to help break the ice. I would revise that statement and tell others to possibly consider beginning another way. Besides, if you're on thin ice, don't you want it not to break?

Perhaps those who use this form of introduction have seen it used effectively by past speakers and in aspiring to the quality of those talks, have chosen a similar way of introduction. In response to this, may I simply ask those who read this to think back and try to remember the amount of times this was done well as compared to the number of times it was done poorly. As a matter of fact, can you remember any of the jokes that have been related in the introduction of a talk? I'm sure the number is low if it's not zero.

I would hope that in preparation a speaker would search their motivations for choosing the material that they have included in their notes, and make sure that their focus is outward and not inward. I think that the type of introduction we have talked about is used because people are either too lazy to come up with something more interesting or they seek to serve their own reputation by cloaking their feelings of inadequacy with a mixture of humor and false humility. I will say that there are definite exceptions to this, however they are rare.

I hate to criticize without offering a solution, so here it is:
May I suggest that an effective teacher of Heavenly Father's gospel is not one who breaks the ice, but is one who brings the Spirit. If you would like a few excellent models to pattern the beginning of your next talk after, a great place to start are the talks of the Brethren. Thumb through the last General Conference Ensign and find a style that suits you. You will find that these usually include: stories, a small taste of the topic, a heartfelt prayer for assistance, and very occasionally humor. A few things which you will find consistent throughout all of these however, is an overarching tone of love, humility, and selflessness. One of my favorites is Elder Bednar. No other introduction grabs 100% of attention like his do. I think that it's no coincidence that he has also won numerous awards for his teaching ability. Here's one of my favorites.

In acknowledging that communication is a two-way effort, may I ask you as listeners to give a little more as well? Can you commit to coming a little more prepared to your Sunday meetings? Will you, with me, work harder to not sleep, text, or read your Starcraft Strategy Guide when you should be listening? The church block can be exceptional even if the speakers are sub-par if the Spirit is your teacher. We sit for 3 hours each week in this Sunday classroom, but hardly ever take notes. We might not even do any more studying than mindlessly scanning the reference materials during the rest of the week. I hope that we can show a little more faith in our efforts wherever they need improvement, because whether we are aware of it or not, the test has already begun. Thank goodness it's open book.