Dear CES board of education,
My name is Braden Hellewell, a freshman (returned missionary) at BYU. I am a 3rd generation student here, and I must say that I have been pleasantly surprised with how comfortable I feel on campus. In my first 2 weeks I have thoroughly enjoyed my experience. It has been everything I imagined or expected - and more.
I suppose I am writing this email to you to thank you for keeping the tradition and spirit of BYU alive (no connection with the football team intended although I love that aspect also). My parents and grandparents have always spoken so highly of BYU and I wondered if it would still be able to give me the "magic feel" so often felt as a young boy listening to my parents. I spent the first 3 years of my life on campus while my dad finished his degree, and loved the atmosphere and I have wondered if I could feel that same atmosphere some 20 years later. It hasn't disappointed.
I love the spiritual atmosphere, being around those with my same beliefs and standards, having a prayer in class everyday. I love the devotionals, the religion classes, and especially the emphasis on lifelong learning as opposed to "get the grade and be done with it."
Everything I have ever imagined that education should be I have been able to see and experience here at BYU and I would like to thank you for being such an integral part of that. Like Elder David A. Bednar suggested, I feel I am learning by faith at BYU and making the most of my post-mission experience. I don't believe I could progress this much at any other college or university the way I am and will at BYU.
Thank you for providing so many scholars of the gospel and secular learning with the opportunity of high quality education with a spiritual atmosphere. It truly is a miracle and inspired of God. I hope that this university will continue to apply the concepts I have mentioned and continue to improve on them and keep them honest so that one day I can suggest to my children a BYU education that won't disappoint them either.
Sincerely,
Braden Hellewell
This is an awesome letter, and really improved my own attitude about BYU. It's well organized, and well written. I think one thing you could improve on is attempting to persuade your audience about something. Maybe you could focus more on the concept trying to get them to "continue to improve" BYU so that your kids can have the great experience you're having.
ReplyDeleteGreat--I think that positive writing, that doesn't ask for change, can be just as community building as writing that asks for change. Sometimes we only write when we think something is wrong, but forget that it may be just as important to write when something is right.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I agree; there doesn't seem to be much positive community/civil writing these days possibly because of what Sister Cowley said - we forget. I was concerned about this one because it didn't require much rhetoric or persuasion, but I think it works well for helping keep things the way they are.
ReplyDelete