The Onion, The Best

Americans are generally less informed than ever. When polled, basic facts about our country, and the world are unknown to most. Concerning terror threats to our country, retired U.S. Coast Guard Rear Adm. Norman Saunders is quoted saying “We know far more in the United States about what Britney Spears is doing than we know about the issues.” Pop culture information is the only "news" some people pay attention to. What could possible fix this epidemic?

The answer: Comedy. Satire. Allusion.

These characteristics make the glory that is: The Onion.

The Onion is a parody paper that is actually printed in a few cities (including Chicago) and twists stories into comedies. Real events and news are the basis for most of the articles and the irony is quite relevant to most readers. Topics range from politics to personal hygiene and readers come from all ages and backgrounds. Although the stories are not accurate, they are true in nature. For those uninformed, it can actually in a twisted way provide an understanding into an issue.

For example, have a look at this:

Poll: 1 in 5 Americans Believe Obama Is a Cactus

This article in particular mocks the debate on the President's religious background and whether he is a Muslim or not by comparing the issue of background to having the pedigree of a cactus. The rhetoric is pristine in that the wording is exactly what is used in the discussions on the President's religion. Implied in the text is that the audience has heard the hoopla about the President. Although the article is much more humorous if the audience member is informed, the way it is so well written may appeal to anyone, and may encourage the readers to investigate the real story.

The article mocks many facets of the discussion on the President’s current or past religion. Even if a reader does indeed care about this issue, the article is largely entertaining. The article references polls about what the American people think the President “is”, many saying he is a cactus and their response to the question of what their decision is based upon is they “just know”. This relates to the actual feelings about the President because there are not very many facts that are being used to just the President’s religious past.

The false quotes add to the hysterics. To repudiate the claims of the so called “organizations” assembling this “information” a

bout the president’s cactus past, a quote is given from a made up official – “You can't go a day without hearing how Obama's a radical cactus sympathizer who wants to sap America of all its drinking water, or how he was actually born in the Kalahari Desert”. These are allusions to Obama trying to rid the US of it’s predominately Christian ties and of where he was born, of which there is some dispute by those adamant about the President not being a true American.

Another quote, one from a real person but fabricated, is one of the GOP Senate Leader, Mitch McConnell, “Though I've never heard him complain about being thirsty. Not once. That could be a coincidence, I suppose, but it's really not my place to say." The persistent and never ceasing terminology used makes the article seem so factual that it would be hard to think of the few people that couldn’t at least crack a smile at it, I would be willing to bet even the President would like it. Especially because it parodies the country’s desire to know who their President/Terrorist in Power really is.

What is this saying about us? That we are no longer interested in real news? Perhaps, but more likely in an age where most people expect to be constantly entertained, outlets like The Onion, or news reporters like Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart deliver the news in a way that spin is made evident, instead of having to sort through "regular" news and try to dissect the actual story for yourself. There is no denying the joy that comes from sitting down to any of these comedians and actually learning something while being entertained.

The goal is to give a laugh and I think it makes readers take a second very different look on relevant issues. Colbert is quoted as saying, "Like any good newsman, I believe that if you're not scared, I'm not doing my job." Although extremely funny, these stories full of jokes really do matter. The humor makes light of the situation but as the arguments/ideas develop in front of the audience, they are forced to think of what it really means. Thinking for yourself? You have to be kidding… When everything is supposed to be so easy in this modern age.

Participating in these news sources becomes kinda like a club. Casually repeating or going off of a joke said in another aspect of life can actually help you realize who is most like you. When you drop one of these normally hysterical jokes, there is a moment of pause where you can find out if anyone else is aware of the genius available to them. If people laugh but you can tell they don’t know where these jokes are coming from, it’s not so bad because they think you're funny. If they do know what it's from you've made a connection and applied what the underlying aim of these ironic new sources is: conversation.

Although some stories may not be funny at all to people who take the issue seriously, they should realize that these types of relaying of information may actually help them by educating others about the issue and helping build their army in a debate. Often, news focuses on a defined set of items depending on what the industry chooses the people want to hear or what they want to tell. These alternative news sources more often than not talk about issues not commonly head about, or go about telling the known stories in a unique way, exposing matter that sometimes has not been touched upon. Even if you disagree with everything they say, it is important to learn all the sides to an argument.

All in all, the Onion makes you smarter. Being a passive listener is quite hard and it makes it so fun to deny the position of a helpless, mindless person and get up, stand up, stand up for your rights!

When the world does indeed come to an explosive end (this downward spiral has to be leading towards something), I plan on running which way I choose, not the way the lemming pack is headed. Yes, it may end up being the same direction, but my level of calm will be, as I predict, slightly higher than those who have no clue what is going down.

For those who question everything, like to be a know-it-all, or are ready to quit their addictive habit of being uninformed, join us. Have fun, relax, and learn a little something. We all know there is only so much that can be learned in school and education needs to be never ceasing. Knowledge is, in fact, one of the only things you will probably have with you in above scenario at the end of the world, and I have reason to believe that it will also outlive the bag of cash money you have been hoarding in case of a disaster, come after the end of the world.