A Reflection Upon Writing

From personal observations, I have found writing to be powerful, persuasive, and deeply personal. I know that academic research and analysis is important and essential, but for me this is not a pleasure. Instead, I have found writing to bring joy when I use it as an outlet for my creativity, a way to express my feelings, and for reflection. To be completely honest, I have really hard time doing research and trying to prove a point when all I really want to do is write my own thoughts and feelings about the issue. At times I wish I had a doctorite degree just so that society wouldn't take my unique ideas as plagarism. Now don't get me wrong, I do like doing research of my own, but I do find reading others' findings almost pointless. Why would I want to find a study to back up my point when I can conduct an experiment of my own? I guess what I'm finding out about myself is that I like to create original works. I like to compose music, write poetry, write stories, make up my own ideas, and write essays about things that I have come up with rather than express someone else's view in an original way. Sometimes, I even feel that all the rules about plagarism go too far. I agree that we shoudn't steal obvious aspects of others' works, but having to cite everything seems like I am appealing to selfishness. My problem with writing is that it is often boring. Most of the time, I feel like I have to follow structure and rules and my writings come out robotic. However, when I go crazy with my own ideas and thoughts, writing becomes fun, not always as "well-written", but fun. If I had my way, I would write a 8-10 page paper without doing any research, just to put my ideas out there. I feel like I don't agree with a lot of research I find, and that my own ideas are more interesting. This might be rude and selfish of me, but it is simply the way that I feel. Writing is wonderful when used for personal reasons, often meant to be kept from the general public. I find most joy when I write for myself, just to express how I feel at a given time and place. Every time I read my personal writings, emotion comes back and personal reflection becomes deep and life-changing. At the same time, writing for an intended audience appears more difficult and less interesting to me. I almost feel like I don't care if people believe me or not. Perhaps this emotion will change after I get back from my mission. I just don't like being responsible for others' feelings and responsible to others for the research that I did to disguise my central messages. After this class, I have learned a lot about myself and my issues with formal writing classes. I hope I can learn more and that others will read this and tell me that I'm wrong, helping me see the greater purposes of academic writing. In general, I have found writing to be very peculiar, and that my attitude towards it change depending on the purpose behind why I write. When I write to express and create, I find magic and relief. Its a wonderful, wonderful thing.