Guide to Idea Thievery

A brief note of explanation and welcome to the amateur thief,

A thief king in the world of education once gave me this idea free of charge, "a symphony well stolen is half composed." He taught his thieving pupils to mimic styles, incorporate ideas and learn from the brilliance of those who have accumulated wealth in the world of ideas, but to have enough pride as a thief to do it well. His classroom became a training ground for thieves of the first rate. And thus it is appropriate that I began my training of you, fellow thief, with a stolen idea from my own tutor in the art of thieving.

The trouble with making an honest living in this world of writing is the fact that half the good ideas are already taken by philosophy and history and the like, and a thief simply doesn't have the time to earn another quarter of the specialized ideas that have been discovered out there. The remaining quarter -- if indeed there are even so many ideas left to the poor thieves of the world -- are not the sort that can sustain a reforming thief through college. So, join the den of careful, brilliant thieves and learn what to steal and how as you dip into the funds of a treasure trove of ideas.

Any common thief can steal an idea that is being widely talked about in his time, it takes hardly any skill at all. When many authors are saying the same thing the thief can slip right in and take what pleases him. It requires the barest smattering of research to be able to cleverly cover his tracks by simply putting it in his own words, a task that is easy to do with such a commonplace idea. Well stolen, this idea almost enters the territory of the new ideas as the thief practically feels like he has thought it all up himself. This is all well and good if a thief can afford to live off such ideas, but some require a richer prize to sustain their luxuriant, idea-packed lifestyle.

Thorough and fearless research is the brand of an excellent thief of ideas. It is almost embarrassing to a high order idea thief to steal from another thief: how much greater the prestige if he can steal it from the original owner. The more research an idea thief does the closer he can trace it to the original thinker himself, not all thieves have this kind of time but still have enough pride in their work to take it closer than . . . say, wikipedia, the breeding ground for petty thieves. High order thieves turn up their noses at stealing from such a blatant thief, one who lacks any of the subtlety or slight of hand of a good thief. A thief who wishes to keep high standing in the world of ideas will at least trace it back to whomever the site stole it from. Wikipedia's safe has such a simple code to crack that any thief with pride will never own up to having gained his precious gem there.

But it is only the most daring thieves of all who steal from the great or the specialists. As daring as they must be to brave such an attempt it should come as no surprise that they have the audacity to hang quotes and a citation on their stolen idea and leave it right in their front room. Of course they could put it in their own words but sometimes the original says it best and either way, only the best of idea thieves could get away with flouting their thievery so openly, it is a badge of honor to be able to frame such an idea. Obviously these thieves are no fools, they never would leave to many ideas out in the open, they know just how many they need to be accepted into good thieving society and they do not cross the line. I mean, do they want to be arrested and sent to prison? And end their good thieving days? Hardly!

The greatest thief isn't the thief who steals everything in sight and becomes gaudy for his presentation of ideas, the greatest thief is the one who steals the choice ideas and hangs them with taste for all to see. This thief mixes many levels of idea thievery into the decor of his home, all in harmony with the general theme of the room. In this way he can pass as a true idea aristocrat, as indeed he will be someday as the aristocracy does not mind taking thieves who only thieve on the side into their midst.

As the thief's wealth if ideas accumulates he will find himself guided into the territory of, first, the positive relics and cherished antiques of ideas and, second, into the realm of new ideas. For the society of ideas is not so priggish about who they promote their world, they have no distaste for thieves. Thieves are first rate material for high society in the world of ideas, just so long as they have learned to steal well.

Best wishes to a fellow burgeoning idea thief!